Tough Titsday Powerlifting Meet Group Shots
Jezebel Response
The reason why I denied her membership was not because she voiced her opinion, nor was it because she took issue with the name of the class. I told her she couldn’t join because after several attempts to discuss the issue in a civil manner, including inviting her to the next TTD meet, she continued on to criticize me personally. As a small business owner, I have the luxury of denying a patron service if I feel they’ve been unreasonable or disrespectful, and in this instance I felt exactly that. Anyone who’s been on our blog knows that we encourage rational and respectful debate on a variety of topics every single day. The idea that I’d kick someone out because they expressed their opinion is completely contrary to our ethos and culture.
The Name: Tough Titsday
I believe that Margie, the class’s creator, summed up our initial perspective best: “It is just as it seems, a subversive, cheeky reclamation of silly vulgarity.” And while that was the intention with which we approached the title, all words will invariably have different connotations and different cultural contexts for different listeners. With that in mind, I believe there is absolutely room for debate about its appropriateness and we’re happy to engage in that debate as long as the conversation remains respectful. Perceived or real objectification of anyone is not something to be taken lightly, and I feel confident that anyone who has experienced the class itself or the culture of our gym would tell you immediately that’s not what’s going on in this instance. We are always open to dialogue and encourage members to provide feedback on all gym matters whether personal or political without fear of retribution. Crossfit South Brooklyn has always thrived on honest and enthusiastic community engagement and will continue to do so moving forward.
The article accused us of taking down a page with the description of Tough Titsday. This was just patently false. The page is live in our archives and, in fact, I did not read the Jezebel post until after they supposedly “updated” it.
Lastly, I’d just like to thank everyone who called, emailed, posted comments and provided general encouragement to me and Margie yesterday. We were touched by the outpouring of support and happy that anyone who’s spent time at the gym or with us knows that we’ve worked incredibly hard to create an inclusive and professional training environment for everyone who walks through our doors.
From Margie:
When I started coaching, and our membership became more diverse, I wanted to offer women an opportunity to develop a facility with, and desire for strength. I wanted to share the powerful self-possession I experienced. And I wanted women to feel awesome about it. I’ve now witnessed many women experience a similar transformation to mine, which has been endlessly gratifying. David, and the other coaches at SBK, have supported this one hundred percent.
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LGBT NYC Workout at CFSBK
LGBT NYC CF is a growing network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) Crossfitters in NYC. We come together to workout and to promote greater visibility of LGBT people in the Crossfit community.
- Sunday, June 9th, 3-4pm
- Followed by post-WOD socializing at Die Koelner Bierhalle
- To RSVP, please go to the Facebook event page
"In a land of freedom we are held hostage by the tyranny of political correctness." – RGIII
and hopefully, it goes without saying, now, you can NEVER change the name. ever. no matter what.
I find it ironic that this article goes up on the same day that the CFSBK homepage celebrates the strength of an amazing woman…
So many sophomoric responses to this I am not sure which one to go with. Therefore I offer them all up to you: (1) wait-tits are another name for breasts? Now I'm offended! (2) should have heard what fox wanted to call it (3) I demand that wall balls be referred to as "round heavy things" from now on! (4) some how Wussy …… Day didnt feel as empowering (5) Margie told me I couldn't join the class because "mine were to small".
On a serious note – I think the writer missed something pretty fundamental about CFSBK. David, Margie-sorry you have to deal with this. Rock on and don't change the name!
One thing to say before I banish the Jezebel article from my memory:
I'm not offended by the name "Tough Titsday." I AM deeply offended that someone has made an ill-informed accusation of this place, and David and Margie, being anything but supportive of women being strong badasses who — exactly like men — are encouraged to achieve their full potential.
Speaking of strong badasses, I got to lift with Charlotte this morning, which was awesome. I never really think too much during Wendler sets about how many reps I'm going to shoot for on my rep out. She asked me, which forced me to think about it and have something to shoot for. I picked a number and I beat it thanks to her and Jess talking me through it. So thank you, awesome women.
Squats 135×5, 155×3, 170×8. I think I've been too conservative in the past about interpreting "leave one in the tank" with Wendler, based on how today and yesterday went.
Fun NFT workout. I didn't even realize we had 7.5 DBs in the gym, but I'm glad we do, because they allowed me to say I can do weighted chinups đ
David and Margie – I love you guys. And frankly, some people will find a complaint about something regardless. At times it is easier to come up with a reason not to go, not to change, or not to be involved than it is to just let go and take a risk. This sounds like a "grasping at straws" excuse. The idea of proclaiming "I'm a feminist! This upsets me!" shouldn't be a crutch that makes your world smaller, rather it should open your world up and allows you to explore MORE.
Not everything has to be your jam for it to be OK.
In the words of the great almighty: Fcuk yeah. (I kid)
I was looking forward to this response, and am quite happy about the matter-of-factness and candor of it.
David, thank you for being so honest at all times. All one has to do is to look at our membership to see the diversity of our community. The reason why I love Brooklyn and NYC in general is in part due to that diversity. While economically,NYC and BK have changed a bit, it is still a mishmash of people who are unified by a goal of bettering themselves in one way or another.
Margie, David – perfect response. You guys are amazing, as is our gym, our community, and of course, each Titsday.
Also, wanted to give another shout-out to Marian, who totally deserves athlete of the month. I know that yesterday's post was swallowed up by this "controversy" stuff, and today's likely will as well, but let's take a second to remember how awesome Mare is â especially during the deadlift last Titsday.
I didn't post anything yesterday as I was waiting for a more measured response from David et al and I think the above is solid rebuttal to most of the misinformation and mischaracterizations/accusations from the Jezebel post. As a dude my thoughts on how or if the Tough Titsday name repurposes oppressive language really aren't all that important. I will say that I have always been struck by how gender positive the CSFBK community is and that inclusion has made me proud to be a member. So I guess keep up the good work and don't feed the trolls.
So let me get this right….This broad is offended by the term Tit? Tit….? It has 3 letters!!!! 2of which are the same letter!!! WTF???
Yet, she came to work out out in a place called a BOX….Yeah, a BOX…..A box filled with balls…Wall Balls, Slam Balls, Kettle Bells. Oh yeah, don't forget those long fallic like items that we put our RUBBER bumpers on. Then we Jerk it??? Isn't there also a lift called the SNATCH? It's like working out in a porno!!!
I'm still amazed that people take themselves as seriously as the chick does. I don't know, maybe because I have a wife, 2 kids, a full time job, a mortgage, a great group of long time friends, a sense of humor, an attachment to reality, that I don't become self absorbed in blogs and B.S. drama. Maybe teaching 8th graders for 18 years and listening to their drama makes me a bit scruffy when I read/hear the same from educated adults. David and Margie, you guys handled that which much more dignity and class than I might have. Most of us can attest that the coaches at CFSBK are top notch on ever level. I recently reread my first email i sent David back in Feb. 2008 and realized that it was just as genuine and helpful as his pointers he gave me last night during my press. I've had some lapses in my CF career these past 5 years (2 Foundations stints), but the reason I trek my sorry ass from Marine Park to Degraw 3x a week is because of our coaches.
PS If there is a Tough Cockday or Big Balls Day programming coming up, please sign me up!!
1. When I first joined CFSBK heard of Tough Titsday I was surprised that there was no backlash from the female contingent. Not because I was offended but because we live in a world of rampant political correctness and this falls right into that wheelhouse. My surprise was due to my ignorance about the CrossFit community as a whole. It didnât take long for me to realize that this is a different crop of people and that the females of CFSBK are cut from a different cloth.
2. I donât think this girl Rachel was offended by Tough Titsday. I think she felt like she SHOULD be offended so she consulted her friends and co-workers who pushed her into writing those emails. I also feel bad for Rachel. She will never get to experience a new 1RM, a Paleo Potluck, a Fran PR, or that feeling you get when your class surrounds you during your last few reps cheering you on.
3. I want to commend David and Margie on how professional they were in their responses. It would have been very easy to let your passion for CFSBK veer you off course and become mean and petty. You took the high road. And if Rachel ever has a change of heart and reaches back out to David to discuss membership, I hope he stays on that high road and gives her a second shot.
4. Never change that name.
so titsday is bad, but having a recurring series called Thighlights is ok? now i'm offended! (though mostly because my own thighs aren't highlight worthy) http://jezebel.com/tag/thighlights
good job DO and margie
I would love know how off the charts the SBK site hit analytics have been since the article was posted.
Classy response to Jezebel MGMT, deeply sorry this all went down.
so yesterday I saw this post, and I read all the comments on Jezebel, and they made me really angry, and I was about to post one myself, but thankfully Nick talked me down off the ledge.
Margie – Titsday was absolutely amazing. I had an incredible time, made incredible friends, and and grateful that I participated.
David – CFSBK is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Aside from the fact that I'm in better shape physically than I have been since I was 18, I've made so many amazing friends and had so many fantastic times with the people at this gym. As a woman, I have never felt more included and accepted. I love what you have created and you should be beaming with pride because of it.
That was an extremely eloquent and classy response. I myself would probably not have been so reserved.
I have plenty of thoughts about the article to share – what utter BS masquerading as feminist statement pretty much sums it up – but posting a congrats to Mare since I didn't get a chance to yesterday. I can't think of a more deserving, sunny, strong, and awesome chica to be named AOTM. You rock, lady!!
David, Margie, and the rest of the staff: I love you guys! Sorry you have to deal with all this drama. CFSBK has changed my life for the better and I am proud to be part of the community here.
6am with Jess and McDowell. Haven't worked out in a week. Felt good to be back in the gym. Press: 140×3, 160×5, 175×4. Tried for rep 5 at 175 and couldn't get it past my eyes. Think I would have had this on a better day. I believe I hit 175×3 a month or so ago, so there was a bit of progress. Metcon at 32kg and kipping HSPUs: 2 rounds + 25 swings. Felt tired from the start on this one. HSPUs kicked my ass, though I had a few excellent reps where the kip worked perfectly.
Belated congratulations to Marian on being AOTM. Always fun to read the backstory of other members.
Nice response to the Jezebel story, David. I had my own bad run in with Gawker a few years ago. The culture fostered by Gawker is the opposite of the one fostered by CFSBK. I've made my choice as to which one I want to be a part of.
Perfect response today!
Hear, hear!
Don't change the name!
And more love to Marian!
I had a big workshop to lead at work yesterday with fancy bankers and donors and such so totally missed everything–Joy caught me up this morning.
I'll just say: David Osorio and Margie Lempert are two of the most lovely people I've ever had the pleasure to know and call my friends. The end.
Also: I love our community. Such thoughtful, generous people. CFSBK FTW.
Marian: YOU GO! Congrats and well-deserved.
Now, the workout.
The bad: My downstairs neighbor's daughter is teething and kept the whole building up last night. Also, I have a cold. Spring colds are the yuckiest.
The good: I made it into 7am class and got to lift w/ Stella. Fun times. Wendler "1 day":
(45, 95, 135×5)
155×5
175×3
195×5 probably had 1-2 left in me but see spring cold, above.
4 RNFT 400m run / 8e front squat lunges / 4 weighted chin-ups
45/75/75/75 on lunges
BW chins
Dear David & Margie:
Have not read the Jezebel piece. But from the little I have learned about it, the Bard has many insights on this absurd episode.
On your names and more importantly, your reputations:
â Every inch a king and Queenâ âKing Lear
âAction is eloquenceâ-Coriolanus
â Whatâs in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell
as sweetâ-Romeo & Juliet
âThe lady doth protest too muchâ-Hamlet
On this scandal or âsuffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune-Hamlet
âMore sinned against than sinnerâ- King Lear
âHow much sharper than a serpentâs tooth it is to have a thankless childâ-King Lear
âSo thou be good, slander doth approve thy worth the greaterâ
âSomething is rotten (Jezebel) in the state of Denmarkâ-Hamlet
On the long term outlook:
âThis above all-to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as night follows day, thou canst not then be false to any man (or woman)-Hamlet
Therefore, take heart, courageous Osorio and Margie, thy friends and community ring their bells for thee!
Here's another post in support of David and Margie!
The Jezebel post is shocking and the writer and "informant" are so clearly misinformed.
CFSBK is an incredibly supportive, educational gym environment and I feel lucky to be so warmly welcomed into it!
Nice work DO and Margie, well handled. Man, what a hack job. I feel bad that I gave them my click. I did like this response:
This Is What Happens If You Question CrossFit's 'Tough Titsday' Class
You get a polite, respectful response from the female instructor of the class, who was also responsible for choosing its name.
This Is What Happens If You Reply To The Respectful Response From The Instructor In A Hostile, Condescending Manner
You get a polite, respectful response from the owner of the gym defending both the class as well as its name.
This Is What Happens If You Reply To The Respectful Response From The Owner Of The Gym By Telling Him That His Opinion Is Wrong, That He Has Poor Judgment, That You Won't Be Joining The Class, And That You Haven't Decided If You're Going To Join His Gym Yet
He responds by telling you that your opinion is just that – an opinion. He also refutes your statement about his poor judgment based on your lack of familiarity with his character as well as his business. He decides to end the conversation at this point, and tells you to take your business elsewhere.
This Is What Happens When You Forward Your Story To Jezebel
You go about your day thinking that you just taught that asshole a lesson, without realizing that through your behavior, you've actually turned somebody who could easily be perceived as dislikable into a sympathetic figure.
David, Margie, you're awesome. You know it, we know it, I get the impression that the larger Crossfit community knows it. So don't let one day of sensationalist drivel get you down. Whoever wrote that is a small person looking to skate by in life on the exploitation of others. Not worth any more of your valuable time or effort.
7am w/ McDowell and Jess
Press
75% 110
85% 125
95% 140×6
WOD: 2pood/30# 5 rounds + 11 swings
Felt weak as hell today from the moment I walked in. Been drained for the last week actually- tons on my plate personally and professionally. Disappointed by my rep out. Swings tore up my hands (literally) and swole up my forearms, presses were too light. Shoulda gone 1.5pood/40#.
Yesterday was take 2 on once a week IF (missed last week due to scheduling). Went well, a bit tired when I first hit the pool, was okay when I first got going. If I exercise mid-day, pre-meal again next week I may try the BCAA/green tea/green supplement route LeanGains recommends. I know some of you reading this (all 3 of you) may think I was gassed out today cause of the fast but I really don't think so. I think I'm just drained all over and waking up an hour early to get class before work didn't help. I've been doing that more lately and I think my body's having a hard time adjusting. Maybe.
I pressed and proud as always
David and Margie are spot on in their reply. Just a note to the dudes responding today, however. You shouldn't call women "broads" or "girls" unless you really have your heart set on reinforcing the negative stereotypes they are trying to pin on the Crossfit community.
Nothing but love and support for the CFSBK team and community. You guys are a huge part of why I enjoy each day as a kick ass, strong woman.
Todd, that post was pretty clearly in jest. I read it in the voice of Andrew Dice Clay.
Noah, Leangains+less sleep is going to drain you. Either eat more or sleep more.
Hey Todd, thanks for noticing my "broads" and "chicks" usage. That was my point, kind of. They're just words and as someone else also pointed out here the PC shit has officially Jumped the Shark (thanks Fonzie). I also referred to David and Margie as "guys" and that's acceptable? Nothing derogatory in my usage, especially if you know my warped sense of humor. I'm not offended by people calling me Cracker, Mick Bastard, or Wap either. Just dumb words. I mean are woman really offended by the term "broad" ? It's so 1950's. It's comical. It doesn't even carry weight, unless Frank Sinatra came back from the dead. if that word is offensive, you should hear the terms are thrown around in NYC Public Schools. One of the greatest things about being born and raised in NYC in the 1970s and 1980s is the tough skin you develop. Male and Female.
Thanks for the response DO & Margie!
When I first opened the link to the article yesterday I was reading for the punchline since they started out calling CSFBK douchey and I've come to know it as a place far far away from the realms of douchbagery.
In trying to put it to rest the ridiculousness of this whole argument keeps swirling in my head and to save you all from reading a multi-paragraph love note from me to the gym I'll just go with this.
I don't think Tough Titsday is offensive, the name is funny and the event/ lead-in classes are a great showcase of our collective lady lifting skills.
@MGMT I've given some thought to making it more anatomically descriptively accurate if that's what people are after but "Tough Breastday" and "Tough Teatsday" don't have the same ring. Well, mayyyybe teatsday. Let's keep it as is.
Going to point my face at cat memes now and I don't care who knows I love them.
business cat
@MGMT – question about the LGBT WOD –
I would like to WOD to show my support as an ally – I usually get involved in a plethera of pride month activities and I would love to add this to my list. Is everyone invited to participate?
Also the event link doesn't seem to be working, is it just me?
the pictures on the blog today are the ultimate refute. david and margie, stick with your guns. you responded with grace and tact, and you have this community's support.
also, i adore marian lai. she's a killer athlete and lovely person all around. congrats on ATOM, lady!
In my Sunday teaser class back in February, David led us through push ups and when it came to describing knee down pushups he said – "One thing – just DON'T call them 'girl' pushups. In this gym, we have 'girls' who can do handstand ring row push ups. Now THAT's a girl pushup. These here are knee pushups." I heard that and looked around at all the amazingly strong women i saw at the gym that day and I know I was hooked. So far, the culture of respect for female strength has been very clear (night and day from my last gym where if I even ventured to the weight room I was either 'f*ckable' or 'fixable').
It reminds of comic Sheng Wangs joke – âWhy do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a poundingâ Or grow some tits. Those tits are tough!
Don't mind the haters, y'all.
David – Margie,
Your thoughtful responses and the caring and intellectual heft demonstrated in them underscore exactly how shortsighted the author of the blog post was being. Sorry you had to go through this.
The community you have built is one that treasures its members and celebrates their achievements with them. So proud to be a part of this community, and have learned so much from you, all the coaches and other members.
Thanks.
Another voice from the chorus:
First, congrats, Mare, for real. I've watched her stay late and work on double unders month after month. That's the real thing.
Second: quoting Nick, above, "As a dude my thoughts on how or if the Tough Titsday name repurposes oppressive language really aren't all that important. I will say that I have always been struck by how gender positive the CSFBK community is and that inclusion has made me proud to be a member." Exactly. One of the things I love best about CFSBK is how it breaks down the awful lonely objectifying split that happens at most gyms, where the women are banished to the elliptical and the men are banished to the bench.
You guys have taught me a huge amount about strength and conditioning, but also about how to treat people. Keep on.
It is sad that the blog post makes such sweeping assumptions. Sad, but not surprising. It's easy to generalize, it's hard to get inside a community and see what makes it tick (especially with the demise of most long format journalism).
I wish that "Rachel" had been able to focus more on the content of the training and the community instead of becoming hung up on her offense at the name. She is absolutely entitled to be offended, but she if her expression of that offense went so far as to make David not want to extend membership she might want to consider why.
I hope she finds the community and training she's looking for, and I hope she reconsiders personal attacks as a way of pushing change.
Now, about this Big Balls Day, might I suggest some sort of odd-object carry that involves two enormous medicine balls contained in a sack of some kind?
It's a fool's game to surmise who is offended by what. Context, context, context makes so much difference.
If I know you and you call me a chick or a broad, you might get away with it. If I don't, woe unto you.
That's nothing to do with political correctness.
If you'd like a demo, just let me know.
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What bothers me most about all this is the escalation of a private conversation to a manufactured news event. There are a ton of misguided people in the world writing dumb emails; it's another category of annoying to have to defend ourselves against a clueless mob whipped into a righteous frenzy by what was nothing more than a cheap – and inaccurate – shot.
Is there a problem with sexism and sexist language in our society? Yes. Are complaints about these to be dismissed as 'political correctness'? No.
Was CFSBK's 'Tough Titsday', a Womens-Only Powerlifting Meet an instance of such sexist language? No. Are those defending it defending sexism or sexist language? No. Does this now sanction the use of sexist or sexist language in a space that is woman-friendly? No.
LOL
@samir well said friend.
I second the sentiments said by that broad Michele.
agreed. Michele nailed it, it's ALL about context.
Hey guys, with all of this discussion of women and Crossfit the last couple days, I could use your help with something.
Crossfit has actually helped me a lot in my day-to-day work. I am a production manager of a printing broker, which often involves moving/carrying around a lot of heavy boxes that come in and out of the office. I'm actually really proud of how self-sufficient I have become, as we are a small company and sometimes I am the one, singular, person in the office that day. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.
The thing that other people can't seem to get over is seeing me (a girl! *gasp!*) lift/move those boxes, whether it is the vendor I'm picking it up from, people on the street, or other people in my building. Other women simply scold me not to do it, older men offer to help (but would be way more strain on them than me), my boss has a bad back, and the younger men just tell me I should use a cart. The only people offering to help are those way worse off than I am and I'm not going to use a bulky cart just to get them off my back when I don't need it.
At first, my responses to these comments were like "No worries, I got it!" with a huge smile hoping they'd leave it at that. Because this happens every time I go to lift a box, I even got into explanations about how I lift weights 4x a week and it's really not that heavy for me, so it's ok. The more and more I'm badgered over it, it's turned into defensive responses and I actually lost my cool on someone today when I denied his help and he responded with "You don't have to be a hero". It was a 30lb box.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to respond or deal with this, I would be very grateful. Before I do what I really want to do which is scream "Leave me alone, I DO CROSSFIT!"
What Samir and Todd said. Tough Titsday and CFSBK are awesome pro-woman spaces. I love CSFBK. Let's not let our love for our own and this false accusation of sexism make us forget that sexism is a problem in our society–and that one of the ways it *can* manifest itself is in offensive language.
sounds like Amy needs a Swole Patrol tshirt
Amy, I deal with this a lot as well. I wish I had a magic answer, but it's always annoying.
Usually you can train people with whom you work regularly by just repeating the message. Mine is, "I'm a powerlifter. Don't worry about it." Then I ask them what THEY SQUAT, and when they can't answer I smile and tell them to work on that rather than worry bout little old me.
Men can sometimes be easier manipulate in this way because most of them have tried to lift weights AT LEAST ONCE, so hearing my squat number means something concrete to them, and they back off.
Folks who you don't work with more regularly, and many women especially of certain generations, are not so easy to train.
Don't let it get to you if you can help it.
Just wanted to voice my support for David and Margie — your responses were thoughtful and respectful. I haven't had the pleasure to participate in a Tough Titsday yet, but I can't wait to have the opportunity! And I love the name. Proud to be part of the CFSBK community.
I think a lot about activism on the gender equity/feminist front and beyond — how it works, and how it doesn't, especially given the tools and platforms that are allegedly supposed to make us better, more effective activists these days.
Activism works when it's borne out of communities with their inherent diversity and natural tensions that foster discussion, communication, and collaboration. It doesn't work when it's driven by elevating singular voices as a thinly veiled means to cheaper pageviews and an increased margin on ad revenue. Sure, any cause is driven by a voice, a message: but it's dangerous for people to fool themselves into thinking that the competing volume of singular voices and singular messages will ever be more powerful than a collective voice and collective message.
This is all to say that it's reassuring to be a part of a community of activists — and all of you are, whether you feel it's intentional or not — that so very often gets it right where others get it wrong.
Also, congrats to Marian. Such a legit athlete and an even better friend/supporter.
Happy Birthday to Lt. Michael Murphy. #MURPH
Oop, the CF official FB page just posted about these shenanigans. Now the whole crossfit world will weigh in.
On an upside maybe Tough Titsday meets will go global!